Grandfathers

My grandfathers, Anton and Willard, as far back as I can remember, were known to me as Grampa Tony and Grampa Clark.  Why?  I have no idea.  I referred to both of them as “Grampa.”

 I didn’t get to know Grampa Tony very well.  He died when I was eight.  He could fix anything, and most of the time he was fixing something.  When he wasn’t fixing something, he was tending to his peonies and the rose bush at the side of the house.  I wanted to fix things and grow things too.  Just like Grampa.  But he died before he could teach me, and my self-taught efforts in that regard were (and are) stunningly mediocre.

Grampa Clark, I got to spend a lot of time with, and I got to know him pretty well.  He was an outdoorsman.  He liked nothing better than spending his week-ends at the cottage, fishing and hunting, depending on the season.  I was there for a lot of those week-ends.  And, of course, there was the annual deer hunt in northern Wisconsin.  I never went deer hunting with him, he took me bird hunting a few times, but mostly we fished together.

My father, on the other hand, was not much of an outdoorsman.  Grampa once remarked: “Lyle will go deer hunting when they put sidewalks in the woods.”  They didn’t get along very well when I was growing up.  I never learned why.  As far as I was concerned, I would rather be with Grampa than with my father.   My dad just took me with him; Grampa and I did things together.  Dad pointed out all of my youthful shortcomings; Grampa explained things.  When Grampa and I talked, he listened.  I learned a lot from him.  Not just information, but attitudes too.  But before I could learn all I needed to know, he died.

In due course of time, I became a Grandfather.  And I knew what Grandfathers were supposed to do: their job is to guide, instruct, and advise their grandchildren.  That’s what Grampa Clark had started to do with me, and what Grampa Tony would have done if he hadn’t died.  Besides my grandfathers, I learned a lot about grandfathering from Wilfred Brimley, star of 80’s TV drama, “Our House.”  When interacting with my grandchildren, he was the role-model I sought to emulate.

Watching my grandkids grow up has been the happiest and most satisfying time of my life.  And while I was watching them becoming the people they would become, I looked forward to the time when they would come to me for comfort and for counsel, just as Wilfred Brimley’s grandchildren came to him.  That never happened though.  In fact, it’s just the opposite.  I’m the one who seeks their help and expertise to keep my electronics working properly, and in understanding the nuances of popular culture.

Whatever I learned from my grandfather, I learned simply by being with him, by us doing things together, by talking.  Maybe my grandkids learned (are learning) from me in the same way.   They seem to be doing okay without my assistance.  Besides that, I have no understanding whatsoever of the challenges young people have to deal with today.  I don’t know what to do, so how can I advise, suggest, counsel anyone else about what they might do?  The best thing a grandparent can do is point the grandkids in the right direction, and let them figure it out on their own.

I don’t spend as much time with my grandchildren as I would like to, but I spend all the time I can.  We do things together.  We have lots of shared interests.  Just the other day Cole and Donny came over, and we spent a pleasant afternoon together.  We got high, drank some beer, ate some left-overs, and watched a pirated version of “Assassin’s Creed.”   

I forget what point I started out to make.