Short-Term Memory.

Lost under the litter of dead brain cells and misfiring neurons.

I’m referring to an idea, a concept, that emerged briefly into my consciousness.

It was the answer to an existential problem that’s been plaguing me for some time.  It is one problem with many facets.  Basically, it’s:  what should I do.  And that branches off into:  How should I do it, When should I do it, Where should I do it, and Why should I do it?

Over the years I have become pretty good, if I may say so myself, at finding reasons to justify not bothering to do much of anything.  It’s really not difficult.  All it takes is thinking about stuff more than doing stuff.

And my original idea is slipping away!

From time to time I have had the annoying experience of stopping what I was doing, and going into the kitchen, or maybe my bedroom.  And once I’m there, I don’t remember why I wanted to go there in the first place.  A senior moment.

Before I forget, (I had to stop and retrace my mental footsteps), these often humorous, always annoying, ‘senior moments’ are early signs of mental deterioration.   Sure, old folks are supposed to be forgetful; it’s part of what makes them so lovable.  I’m drifting again.

Short-term memory is what I’m getting at.  I neglect to do things that need doing, but I really just forget to do them.  I forget to buy what I go shopping for.  I forget what I’m talking about, in the middle of an utterance.  I plan to, or want to, do something, but I forget to do it.  Or I forget that I wanted to do it.  Or I forget how to do it.   Or I forget why I wanted to do it in the first place.

I can’t tell you how pleased I am to learn that my idleness and unproductiveness is not a character flaw, but merely the result of an increasingly faulty short-term memory, as a result of the aging process.  So, I can get back to the TV and video games without feeling guilty about wasting time.  I will be wasting time, but so what, I’ll forget about it anyway.