Death and Dying

Death and dying.  Death is where we are all going, and dying is how we get there.  I’m not sure about the death part.  I’m curious, but I’m in no hurry to have my curiosity satisfied.  It’s the dying part that concerns me.  When you’re dead, you’re dead.  But dying can take a while, and it can be quite uncomfortable. 

I learned about death when my grandparents began to die off.  I learned that old people die, and that someday I would die too, when I was old.  Young people got sick and died too, but mostly it was old people who died.

Then, the year after I finished college, I was a pall-bearer for my friend, Tom Cooper.  Until then I had accepted my death as inevitable, sometime in the indefinite future.  Now, I had not only to accept the inevitability of my death, but also that I might die at any moment.  This realization came as sort of a shock, even though it’s been that way since the moment of birth.

I always knew I was going to die, but I never really thought about it.  Who wants to think about dying?  But at Tom’s funeral I did.  I accepted my eventual demise emotionally, and intellectually.  I knew I was going to die, and I wasn't going to worry about it.  I was very pleased with myself for coming to understand what so many folks have always known.

I didn’t think about dying a lot, but when I did I wondered: what would be better a quick death, from a heart attack or a stroke, or dying after a lingering illness?  I couldn’t decide which I would prefer.  A stroke or heart attack could get the dying part over quickly.  On the other hand, if I had some dread disease I could be an example of how to face Death bravely.

But those aren’t the only alternatives, as I found out when I slipped and tumbled down my back stairs.  I had accepted my death, and that I don’t have to be old to die.  But I had assumed that sickness would do me in, quickly or slowly.  But, as falling down the porch stairs has shown, I won’t necessarily die from sickness.

One summer morning a fellow had some sort of seizure while having coffee on the patio of Bar Italia.  EMT’s were called, and as it turned out, the fellow was okay.  However, it does point out another possibility.  Death can occur at any time, and any at place.  Dying can be inconvenient as well as uncomfortable.

Between a quick dying process and a lengthy one, there are any numbers of possibilities.  Mostly they involve various organs wearing out or malfunctioning.  But it takes a while.  Things come apart little by little, until there’s a major breakdown.  Dying is a life-long process.