Gary

Gary was husky and ugly.  Not ugly exactly, more like mean-looking, really mean.  Because he was big and mean looking, no one fucked with Gary.  And because he was a nice guy, he didn’t push people around.  It wasn’t his fault fellow students found him slightly intimidating.

In his jr and sr high school years Gary had the reputation of being the toughest kid on the South Side.  Gary found this amusing, since he had never been in a fight in his life.

After high school I lost track of Gary, then 5 or 6 years later, we ran into each other.  In the course of ‘catching up’, and after a beer or two, I found out what Gary had been up to.  It turns out he’s a Milwaukee County Deputy Sheriff.  And, as a duly appointed officer of the law, he is required to carry his badge and gun at all times.  Normally this isn’t a problem.

So, one day, on his day off, Gary goes to buy a new sport coat.  While trying on jackets, Gary sees, in the mirror, the shocked expression on the salesclerk’s face.  Of course, a big, mean-looking guy, with a gun!  Gary smiled to himself.

“Oh, yes sir! This jacket looks good on you.  Just the thing to wear to work.  By the way, what sort of work do you do?”

“Right now, I’m unemployed,” replied Gary, scowling.