The more I think of it, the more I accept the reality of Karmic Retribution. How else to explain the constant inner turmoil I endure? It explains why I have one demon constantly demanding I do something, warring with the twin demons "You can't" and "You don't know how to" . It can only be a punishment of some kind. I'm leery of the idea of reincarnation. So, if I'm not being punished for sins in a past life, I must be suffering for my sins in this life.
There have been times in my life when I was not a very nice person, on purpose or unconsciously. But judging from the intensity of my Karmic punishment, I was way more of an asshole than I thought I was.
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